The first time I heard the term “under earner” I was reading some literature from a 12 step program because I thought this term might apply to me, I did more research about the subject, starting with Mikelann Valterra’s book Why Women Earn Less How to Make What You’re Really Worth.  What an eye opener! When I saw that I fit the profile of an under earner, I read more and attended workshops to further understand this behavior.

Women and Money: Four Ways Women Sabotage their Financial Success and 4 Tools to Financial Balance. More information below

In a nutshell, under earning is simply consistently not earning enough money to meet your needs. Whether you are in a job or run your own business, you are not earning to your full potential given your skill level, education and experience. Under earning is more about low self esteem than low income as an under earner will sabotage her own efforts and devalue her talents and skills.

Women identify with under earning more often than men do. Why? Because men, by nature, are risk takers. They are programmed from an early age that they will need to be the breadwinner, supporting not only themselves, but their families as well. Women, on the other hand, are brought up to be nurturers and to take care of others, not necessarily to financially support themselves and others.

Under earners crave comfort.  Because they have a difficult time moving out of their comfort zone, they would rather stay where they are even if it is not in their best interest.

In my own case, it took me over a year to decide to quit my job and totally focus on building my business. I had worked in the corporate world for 20 years and was afraid to let go of that steady paycheck, even though it no longer served me. Finally, I quit my full time job and took a part time job. After a time, I saw that this wasn’t working either but I could not quit due to my fear. When I was laid off from that job and was forced to totally rely on my abilities, it was the best thing that could have happened.  Today, I am able to take care of myself financially, doing work I love.  However, I literally had to be “shoved out the door” because of my fear of taking the risk. 

This subtle form of self-sabotage--failing to do something that could lead you to earn more money--is typical of under earners. The more obvious action of doing something that causes you to earn less money such as quitting your job without a plan or setting low fees are indicative of under earners as well.

Like many other money behaviors, under earning is rooted in our belief system; what we heard growing up has a major effect on our behavior today.  For example, if your parents fought about money or gave other negative messages, you may associate having money with conflict, unhappiness and even violence. One of the messages I heard was “no, we don’t have the money.”  No wonder that I carried that belief into my adulthood and played it out for many years.  These kinds of messages can impact your ability to reach your full potential and earn what you deserve.

Another behavior which can fuel the under earner is the belief that someone will take care of her.  Prince Charming is going to come!  This magical thinking can keep you from reaching your financial goals. The belief that you do not have control over your financial life can impact your ability to earn more money. Because of these false beliefs, you sabotage your own success by doing nothing or missing opportunities to earn more.  Women in particular want to be rescued. We believe that if we are a  “good girl” someone will take care of us. For me, it was my MasterCard. That was my rescuer. If I got stuck, I could always pull out the credit card.

Who is your Prince Charming? Is it the lottery, your spouse, your equity line, an inheritance, your parents, or a trust fund? Looking to anyone or anything other than yourself is a common way to avoid taking care of your financial needs and continue to under earn.

For next few weeks, think about the money messages you heard as a child and how those messages impact your financial decisions today.  Write them down. Also list the ways you under earn and talk to a trusted friend about it.

In my next newsletter, I will give you more about under earning and tools to break the cycle.

For more information, visit findingfinancialbalance.com

Yours in Financial Balance,
Shelley Bayol