In my last newsletter I talked about money as an addiction; the havoc it can cause in one's life and the lives of loved ones as well. There are several aspects to money addiction; high on the list is compulsive spending and debting.

Compulsive and self-defeating problems with money and work are the fastest growing addictive problems in this country.

Compulsive spenders use money to buy whatever brings them pleasure. They find it difficult to budget and to delay gratification. The compulsive spender is driven to buy, whereas the "normal" person purchases what they need and what they can afford. The shopping and buying act as a "fix" for the spender, and when the "high" wears off, the urge to spend returns. Compulsive shoppers spend whatever they have whether it is $1 or $1000. They use their spending as a distraction; a way to avoid feelings, as spending is a mood changer for them.

Since the compulsive shopper is more invested in the act of shopping than the detail of what he or she buys, clothes may hang in the closet with their tags on for months or even years; equipment will sit on a shelf gathering dust.

Compulsive debtors continue to incur new debt, despite the negative emotional and financial consequences that follow. They whip out the credit card recklessly, racking up debt until they are unable to enjoy their life.

I know, I've been there. There was a time when I shopped to numb out my feelings. At the height of my compulsive shopping and debting, my daughter was a teenager, challenging me in every way. Shopping made me feel I had some control over my life, since I felt so out of control in other ways. Unfortunately, the shopping just created another problem: mounting debt.

The answer for the compulsive debtor/spender is not to stop shopping altogether. We know that is not possible. After all, we still have to buy clothes and other items we need or want. Some may think that making more money or paying off debt or consolidating debt into one low interest loan is the answer. These sound like viable solutions, but as my story points out, unless the behavior is changed, the overspending and debting will start again.

How is the cycle broken? By using the tools I recommend to my clients:

• Stop incurring new debt
• Start saving money for those unexpected "expected expenses"
• Create a spending plan
• Establish  "bottom line behaviors". That means committing to not engage in a behavior that has been destructive—no matter what. For example, putting those credit cards aside until you learn to use them sparingly.
• Develop an action plan to pay off your debt.

I suggest that during the next week you write down one or two bottom line behaviors and keep the list in a spot where you can see it frequently—on your refrigerator or in your wallet. Keeping these visible will help you stay connected to your desire to change your behavior.

Remember, there's more to life than accumulating a lot of stuff. The richness of life comes from fulfilling relationships, meaningful work and service to others.

For more information, visit findingfinancialbalance.com

Yours in Financial Balance,
Shelley Bayol